If You're Not Where You Want to Be...Or Going Where You Want to Go...

This morning a friend of mine, whom I met through my blog, emailed to tell me they finally have orders to their first post. Her husband is finishing up chaplain training and will soon be ministering to soldiers! Some might think that those of us who trust in the Lord never have feelings of disappointment or a longing to be somewhere else, but that just isn't true. There are times when we have to trust not what we are feeling, but the One who knows the plans He has for us. She is in the midst of that right now. Feelings of excitement, and disappointment that she will leave the place she loves living now, flood her heart and mind. I sent a return email and then later thought about other families who might be experiencing that right now, or are awaiting orders and are nervous about where God might send them, so I've made a few small changes since this is public, but this is the jest of what I wrote back:

I know exactly how you feel. I really wanted to go to Colorado. The post we ended up being assigned to was our 2nd choice, mainly because we had never been anywhere near this area, but I really wanted our 1st choice to be a little closer to family and all; plus I knew that area and loved it. I remember the feelings I had the day we found out, and some of it was much like the sick feeling in my stomach you described. This meant we would be over 3,000 miles from our two oldest kids and family...

BUT...GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING! Trust Him completely in this! Once we arrived, we knew it would be OK. In fact, on the drive up here, we knew it would be OK. There are days I don't like it here, but knowing that God has us here for a reason makes all the difference in the world. It truly does. The people aren't as friendly like we are used to in the south, there aren't that many churches, but it's a beautiful place and there are thousands upon thousands of soldiers who need chaplains here...hundreds upon hundreds who need my husband, their chaplain. That makes it worth it! You WILL see the hand of God when you get there. Now is the time of testing of your faith! Don't allow Satan to discourage you. I say this because I've been right where you are.

Know that I am praying for you, and continue to share your heart with me. I will be here for you every step of the way! May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. That scripture just came to mind. Trust Him-Jesus Christ-above all that enters your heart and mind during this transition. Continue to lean on Him, and all His understanding...for HE knows the plans He has for you.

My prayer is that if anyone is identifying with my friend right now, you will find strength and encouragement in the Lord today. We all go through times like this. It's an adventure, yet even adventures are filled with uncertainties and struggles (like climbing a mountain-the view is great once you get there, and knowing that keeps you going, but the long haul upward can be almost unbearable at times).

I highly recommend this book...

I picked up a new book for my plane ride home, and I want to recommend that everyone I know read it. No Atheists in Foxholes: Prayers and Reflections from the Front written by Chaplain Patrick McLaughlin, CDR, USN. I had to stop reading it several times on the plane and compose myself. I not only hope people will read it, but that they will use it as a tool to pray for our troops. I'm about half-way through it and just wish I had the money to buy this for everyone I know. I don't want people to forget about our troops!

I also highly recommend people (everyone!) read Down Range: To Iraq and Back by Bridget C., PHD Cantrell and Chuck Dean.

We can't forget that thousands of our troops are still fighting!! They need our prayers, they need our support - those serving and those who have served. We need to thank them and tell them how much we appreciate the sacrifices they have made. We need to care for their families. We need not ever forget all they've done for us.

PWOC

Yesterday I went to my first PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) Bible Study. It was really good! In fact, I felt very comfortable there, met a lot of friendly women who are striving to live for Christ and loved it. I have been asking the Lord to help me know where HE wants me to be involved, and when I was away on vacation I felt the Lord leading me to go once I returned home (remember the post about being more engaged?). My daughter mentioned on Tuesday that we should go when we were at the gym, and so, believing that God laid it on her heart as well, we went. I had not told her what the Lord had laid on my heart before that.

When Wednesday morning rolled around a lot of things could have gotten in our way, but, praise God, nothing deterred us. We went and were blessed because of it. I'm glad God is showing me more and more of His plan and purpose. I'm glad for the time away so that I could truly miss so much of what I have here. As I walked around the post on Monday, seeing all the soldiers in uniform, I was thankful to be a part of the military community, even with the difficulties we face and the sacrifices being made. I believe God has great things in store for us if we'll but follow Him and listen to His voice. His timing is perfect. I believe THIS WEEK was the week I was to go to PWOC, and I look forward to joining the other women in worship, prayer, bible study, fellowship, and reaching out to other soldiers and their families.

I'm Home, He's Gone.

It's been a month since I've seen him in uniform. My heart skipped a beat. He's so handsome. I love seeing him in uniform! It's not just that he's handsome though, it's so much more. When he's in uniform:

• I'm reminded that he cares about our country.
• I'm reminded that he's serving our country, our God and our Soldiers.
• I'm reminded that he is called to do this by Almighty God, and God walks with him every step of the way!
• I'm reminded that he is a good, godly man who loves the Lord so much that he will walk this road, even if it means the ultimate sacrifice of losing his life.
• I'm reminded that he loves me and our children and wants to provide for us - not only for our everyday needs of shelter and food, but for our freedom. What if men and women didn't defend it? I think that people forget this sometimes!
• I'm reminded that God was gracious to me and gave me a wonderful husband.
• I'm reminded how proud I am to have a husband who is willing to give his life for another.
• I'm reminded how honored I am to be a wife of a soldier and chaplain.
• I'm reminded that he serves the Lord. The cross on his uniform stands for hope for all people!

Duty calls and he must go. He'll return to the field and we won't see each other for a week or more (as it stands right now), but I'm OK with that. I know that this life we are called to is not about me, or him, and that we must do whatever it is the Army and the Lord calls us to do. I know that in reality it's not the Army that calls him away from our home anyway - it's the Lord. God has bigger plans for him this week than coming home to me every night. Spending time with his soldiers is good. They need him, too, and I'm willing to share. It doesn't mean I won't miss him...that's impossible. It just means I'm going to praise God for getting me home early Sunday so that I could spend the whole day with him, and that I'm going to praise God that he got the day off yesterday and we got to spend another whole day together again. And, as for the rest of the week, I know it's in the Lord's hands and I'm going to trust His plan and rejoice in the fact that I am home and surrounded by other soldiers and their families that are serving our country.

It's good to be home!

My daughter and I arrived home at 8:40 a.m. Sunday morning. That's almost 14 hours sooner than our original scheduled flight! We decided we would get up at 3:30 and head to the airport around 4:30 and ask if we could get on the 6:55 flight. Praise God it worked out! We arrived home to find two men with big smiles on their faces. God is good!

Hurry up Sunday!

I'm SO SO SO ready to be home again. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY miss my husband. I also look forward to being back on post and in my own home. I feel like it's been forever since I've seen my husband's face and felt his strong arms around me. This time away makes me dread deployments even more so than before. I don't really have much to write about today. I've just been busy cleaning my mom's house, doing laundry and trying to pack for the trip back home. My body is worn out from all the fun, and it's just time to get home. I do have mixed emotions, though, as tomorrow will be my last day to spend time with my son again until Christmas. I am so thankful I've been able to see him for the last four weekends! More than anything though...I want to be back in my husband's arms!!!

See you soon, babe!!

Thankful Thursday

We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14b)

Today I am so thankful for new life - new life found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I wrote about my cousin's girlfriend who gave her life to Jesus yesterday, and today I am still rejoicing. 2 Corinthians 5:17 sums it all up - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! What a joy to know that we are no longer our "old self" and that we are made new in Christ Jesus. Truly we have seen the glory of God this week and I am so thankful that He meets us right where we are. Even in the midst of lake activities and family reunion fun, God was speaking to our hearts and drawing us to Himself. Every one of us sitting on my parents' back porch were changed in one way or another yesterday. God is so good!

Thank you, Lord, for your love. Thank you for your grace and mercy in our lives. Thank you for the new life you bring to us when we place our faith in you. Today I pray that we would continue to reflect on your goodness as we go about our day, and that nothing would interfere with your plans for us this day. Help us to be a reflection of you in all we say and do! Be with our soldiers. Keep them safe and bring them all home soon. Be with the families that are separated during this time and bring them peace and comfort as well. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Not MY plans, but HIS

Monday I spent a good part of my day talking to the airlines, trying to figure out a way to get back home a little earlier than planned. Every time I talked to my husband I wanted to fly home to be with him. When we planned my Texas trip, we thought he would spend the majority of that time in the field. We thought it would work out nicely for me to spend time with family and friends and, since he wouldn't be at home anyway, it wouldn't be a huge loss to not be together for a month. Since my time away though, he's had other chaplain duties that have required his presence on post, rather than in the field, making us miss each other all the more.

Monday it was all I could stand, so I thought... My daughter and I made several calls, but we never could get the airlines to give us a break. The lowest we could get them to go was $260 for the two of us, and that was still just way too much. I knew I had to give it up when my husband agreed. Today I understood why I didn't go home sooner...

About 11:3o this morning I was helping one of my aunts put some of the pictures from our reunion on her facebook when I heard some commotion on the downstairs back porch. Once I was finally able to break away and see what was going on, the first thing I noticed was a few people crying. I wasn't sure what I was walking into, but I was certain the Lord was leading me to join them.

As I stepped out onto the porch, I heard one of the girls sharing about the struggle she was having with faith. I listened as I walked closer to her, all the while being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. As I walked, she continued to share. Just as I got close to her, out spills, "Has there even been a time in your life when you've asked Jesus Christ to come into your heart and be your Lord and Savior?" from my mouth. God was at work, and I felt so broken at the thought that God would have me ask her that. For days I had been trying to make my own plans, but God had HIS plan.

After several people shared with her the difference knowing Christ has made in their lives, and we talked about the fact that Jesus will never force himself on anyone, that we must ask him to come into our heart and life and change us, she said she wanted that for her life. This was my cousin's girlfriend, and God had plans for her to be here this week with us, too. I don't believe anything is just coincidence. God met her here in this place, this day, for it was His plan. Being a part of that moment with her made all these days of missing my husband worth it.

Just a few weeks ago one of the pastors of a church we visited with my daughter asked us, "How long has it been since you've led someone to the Lord?" My heart sank as I knew it had been way too long. TODAY I remembered that Sunday morning and thanked the Lord for allowing me to be a part of this beautiful moment in time. I believe had I not been here someone else would have asked the same question of her and she still would have come to know Christ, but I would have missed the blessing of being with all the family when it took place. We rejoiced as a family, as did the angels in heaven, and knowing that this young lady knows the Savior fills my heart with joy!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be here today. I'm so grateful that I didn't follow through with my plans, and that your plans prevailed.

Congratulations Chaplain!

My husband called today to tell me he was told he was nominated for an award - the Witherspoon Award. Since I've never heard of it, I decided to google it and this is what I found out: The Witherspoon Award is given each year to a Chaplain of the Armed Forces who demonstrates a unique commitment to Bible reading and/or who encourages Bible reading in a special way. Each year the award rotates among the three branches of the US Military: Army, Navy and Air Force. (Marines and Coast Guard are honored under the Navy branch.) Given in cooperation with the Chief of Chaplains of each branch of the military, the award is named for the famous World War I and WWII Chaplain, Maurice Witherspoon who served as a Trustee of the National Bible Association from 1946 until his death in 1978. (Taken from the National Bible Association website.)

I believe it is awarded sometime in November.

I am SO PROUD of you, babe! Congratulations on the nomination. That alone is a great honor. You're a wonderful chaplain!!!

A Heavy Heart

I'm currently still in Texas and my parent's house is filled with family from my mother's side of the family. There are around 50 of us here, with my brother and his family finally on their way from Roatan. We had an amazing time worshiping the Lord together last night. We spent about two hours singing, opening up the Word, testifying to the goodness of God and it was just truly wonderful. I wish we would do that every night! This morning as I sit on my parent's back porch, listening to many of them out by the water, I try not to let myself be consumed by the thoughts of missing my husband so badly that I can hardly stand it anymore. It's something few people truly understand.

As I was driving my future son-in-law to the airport yesterday, my husband called to ask me to pray for the soldiers who he had just heard were killed in Afghanistan. He has a chaplain buddy there and was concerned for him, as well as the other soldiers in harm's way. I immediately started to cry. I knew their families back home would soon hear, if not already, that their loved one had been killed. I cried for them and for my own family who, too, will one day experience all that comes with deployment of a loved one (or two or three, as it could be in our case). I cried for my dear friends who are already experiencing it.

Yesterday, as Whitney and Skyler said their good-byes, I cried so hard for them. I knew what she would experience last night as this was their first time to really be apart since they met...and I know first-hand how deeply you can miss someone that you love so much, especially when in the back of your mind you know there is always that chance that they could deploy one day. If you've experienced it, you know what I'm talking about. It pulls at the very core of your being, causing you to long for a different life, all the while knowing this is where God has you for a purpose and anywhere else would be outside His will and plan for you so you quietly surrender and trust Him once again despite the deep pain you are feeling.

I remember when my husband was in the Air Force and deployed to Croatia. Just knowing the the danger he faced there, and the fact that there was nothing I could do about it, was almost more than I could bare sometimes. Since that time I've grown and learned to trust and lean on the Lord so much more, but I still feel the pain of knowing he could deploy and that being in the Army will mean a much longer deployment. There are moments I literally feel myself stop breathing at the thought of it.

My daughter is now experiencing that. She has those thoughts that cause great fear to well up inside of her. She tries, like so many of us, not to think about it, but it's always there. We stayed up until early in the morning talking and praying. My heart is heavy for us all. Even the separation that is taking place right now is difficult. Our men are safe, but we are far from them. To be honest, vacation doesn't feel much like a vacation sometimes, it feels more like torture knowing you could be spending time with them, but it's not possible because you are thousands of miles away. And, knowing that when you return home they will go into the field the next day (because both of them will), can just about drive you crazy.

It's not at all that I don't like or want to spend time with my family; it's just hard to be away from your best friend!! They are working hard and we're playing. It hardly seems right. I know that it's hard to understand when you haven't been there, but I pray for sensitivity for all military families. I know many of my friends need that in their lives right now as their husbands are deployed or away from home in training (because even that is tough!). It's not easy being separated, and I can only pray that awareness becomes real to those who are not in the military, and that we all can work together to support our troops and their families. It's not just about non-military supporting the military either...we all need to do our part.

As I write, it's always as though the Lord is slowing pulling the burden away and reminding me that He is near. Writing what is on my heart doesn't always come easy, especially if I allow fear of what I write to be taken wrong, so I pray that this post falls on tender hearts. I'm not asking for sympathy, just awareness. Don't forget about our men and women in uniform, and the families that are affected by the difficulties of being in the military. It's not about patriotism...it's about people!