Homecoming Coming Soon!!

I know I haven't been on here in forever, but I had to report to whoever might still be around that my husband will be home from his year long deployment very soon!! It's been a wild ride, especially the last week as the owner of the house we were living in needed it back and we had to move out very quickly. I should say I had to move out - he's not even back yet - but I found a beautiful home that the twins and I love, and all my friends say is awesome, and it's been worth all the hard work. I hope he's pleasantly surprised this weekend!! :)

I'm headed to bed as I'm EXHAUSTED...and thanking the Lord he will be home soon.

I'll Still Follow

The journey this year has not been easy, but God has been faithful. It was encouraging to read my thoughts for what seems like SO long ago and know that I still feel strongly that "wherever God leads I'll go" ...http://notanotherthingtoremember.blogspot.com/2007/04/chaplain-burtons-wife.html

My Calm

There is nothing that calms me more than spending time with the Lord. Lately it has been really refreshing. I find that each time I open God's Word, He speaks to my heart. Not only does He speak to my heart, but He calms me and gives me strength to make it through all that has taken place with this deployment.

We're nearly 8 months down, and 4 more to go. I'm thankful for all the Lord has done to help us through. It has NOT been easy...that's for sure...but we're thankful for the calmness He brings to this crazy life we live.

If you're going through a journey similar to ours, I pray strength and peace for each new day. May you find HE is your Calm.

R&R Homecoming pics!

I think this was the best hug EVER!!!

I love that after 23 years he still looks at me this way!

My heart still skips a beat when I think about this day!

I love you, Chaplain, more than anything else in this world!

I miss writing...

There are several things I've regretted not spending more time on. One of those things would be writing. I love to write!...yet that seems to be one of the first things I set aside when I have so much going on. I'm not really sure if it's because I don't want to express myself during times of busyness or what. It's something I've sure missed though.

Last night I watched Julie & Julia and it made me really miss writing/blogging. It also made me miss cooking (the real cooking I used to do before I went back to working full-time...), and it made me wish I'd pursued some things like cooking classes. I know it's not too late, but I'm not sure that's what I really want to do at this point in the deployment. I think I'd rather focus on writing more...and maybe get more written in my book. That would be good!

About a month ago I gave up spending as much time on facebook (a definite time sucker!) and only get on for a few minutes twice a week...for several reasons...and, though it has caused me to feel less connected, it has definitely given me back some of my precious time in the evenings. Though that time still flies by, at least it is spent being MUCH more productive.

I can honestly say it has been a good thing, and I have no intention of going back... I do however plan to write and blog more, while not giving up the time I enjoy spending in God's Word and growing closer to the Lord!...that's really important to me!

Since I haven't shared any photos in a long time, I might even get photos up from my husband's R&R soon! It was wonderful, and I can't wait for the REAL homecoming!!

R&R

For 13 days my husband has been on R&R from Afghanistan. In about 38 hours I'll be saying good-bye again, and to be completely honest...I HATE IT! I don't want to say good-bye, and I don't want to let him go for another 5.5 months!! Six months ago, saying good-bye was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and knowing all that I know now doesn't make it any easier...in fact, I think it makes it harder in some ways.

Once he's gone I'll post pictures of our reunion (if I don't forget to get them off his computer...that would be horrible!) and some of our fun on R&R, and I'll try to keep the "positives" flowing...though never hiding my honest thoughts.

I don't want to take away from the time we have left so I'm keeping this short and just asking for prayer. Thanks!

2009

I haven't blogged in quite a while. Life has been beyond busy, but I decided I would post what I wrote on December 30.

There are no words to describe what 2009 has been like. For my family, and those of 5th Brigade here at Post, nearly 6 months ago we said our goodbyes to the ones who mean the world to us and, even for those of us who have experienced deployment before, nothing could have prepared us for what has taken place this year.

Each face of our fallen heroes, and each roll call I've stood at during the memorials - hearing the names of these men called over and over with complete silence, is etched in my mind. Hearing Amazing Grace played on bagpipes sometimes week after week, and most certainly month after month, has forever brought new meaning to that song for many of us. While I've sat among grieving widows and friends here, my husband & best friend has prayed over many of these men when they arrived at Kandahar, or performed the memorial for those in his battalion downrange. As I write this, he's preparing to do that for Staff Sgt. Gutierrez, killed Christmas Day, and my heart is heavy for his wife and three kids and the men who fought alongside him.

If I could pinpoint one consistent thought I've had over and over again these last several months, it's that these men have given their lives and I don't want people to go on living as if nothing is taking place on foreign soil. Not only have we lost a lot of Soldiers, many have also been wounded (nearly 40 in our brigade alone)...and all have been in some way changed - that's a cold, hard fact of war. The days are long, difficult and at times I'm sure very lonely. Our husbands, fathers, sons (I use all masculine because we're an Infantry unit) and friends are laying down their lives for us and we must NEVER forget them and their families. It's our job here to make sure we are taking care of our widows and their children, as well as to remember and pray for the safety of those who continue to fight as we go about our daily lives in comfort.

If you can read the names below and not shed a tear, I'm going to ask you to tell me how. So many lives are forever changed, and 2009 will be a year many of us will never forget. I hope it will become a year that no one forgets because of these brave men, and many, many others who've laid down their lives for you and me. Finish out this year remembering our Fallen Heroes. Remember and pray for their families. Commit to pray for our Soldiers who must continue on in this war, despite all the loss they've already encountered. If your family has not had to go through such tragedy this year, cling tightly to them and love them like never before in 2010.

If your Soldier is listed below, know that you are dearly loved and being prayed for continually, and that our door is always open to you and your children. Each man listed below gave his life for our freedom. These are only the ones from our brigade. As of today, in 2009, 319 United State Soldiers gave their lives in Afghanistan, and 150 in Iraq this year alone. Please don't skip reading the names of these men. Pray for each family represented. Also pray for the nearly 40 men in our brigade that are wounded and recovering, as well as their families.

OUR FALLEN HEROES:

Army Staff Sgt. Gutierrez, David, age 35, died 12/25/2009

Army Spc. Aaron Aamot, age 22, died 11/5/2009

Army Spc. Gary Gooch Jr., age 22, died 11/5/2009

Army Pfc. Brian Bates, age 20, died 10/27/2009

Army Sgt. Fernando Delarosa, age 24, died 10/27/2009

Army Staff Sgt. Luis Gonzalez, age 27, died 10/27/2009

Army Sgt. Dale Griffin, age 29, died 10/27/2009

Army Sgt. Issac Jackson, age 27, died 10/27/2009

Army Spc. Jared Stanker,age 22, died 10/27/2009

Army Pfc. Christopher Walz, age 25, died 10/27/2009

Army Sgt. Patrick Williamson, age 24, died 10/27/2009

Army Spc. Kyle Coumas died, age 22, 10/21/2009

Army Spc. Michael Dahl Jr., age 23, died 10/17/2009

Army Res. Cpt. Benjamin Sklaver, age 32, died 10/2/2009

Army Res. Pfc. Alan Newton, age 26, died 10/2/2009

Army Spc. Kevin Graham, age 27, died 9/26/2009

Army Sgt. Robert Gordon, age 22, died 9/16/2009

Army Sgt. Andrew McConnell, age 24, died 9/14/2009

Army Lt. David Wright II, age 26, died 9/14/2009

Army Pfc. Jordan Brochu, age 20, died 8/31/2009

Army Spc. Tyler Walshe, age 21, died 8/31/2009

Army Spc. Jonathan Welch, age 19, died 8/31/2009

Army Capt. John Hallett III, age 30, died 8/25/2009

Army Capt. Cory Jenkins, age 30, died 8/25/2009

Army Sgt. 1st Class Ronald Sawyer, age 38, died 8/25/2009

Army Spc. Dennis Williams, age 24, died 8/25/2009

Army Spc. Troy Tom, 21, age died 8/18/2009

Army Pfc. Jonathan Yanney, age 20, died 8/18/2009

I want to leave you with the words spoken by my husband to his Soldiers at one of their memorials downrange:

Every Soldier lost in battle is a pain felt by the whole. These men have left their mark on history as well as on the lives of every Soldier with whom they have served. In the years to come, when peace and stability are finally restored to the war torn country of Afghanistan; it will be in large part due to the courage and sacrifice of these Soldiers.

Forever Changed

Thoughts come easy, words don't. This month has been like none other in my life. I've watched strong Soldiers cry, wives mourn the loss of their husbands, mothers and fathers mourn the loss of their sons, siblings mourn the loss of their brothers, children mourn the loss of their fathers, and friends mourn the loss of great friends.

Death has a sting like none other. It forever leaves its mark on our lives. It scars our hearts and leaves us forever changed. It's something no one wants to face in life, but something we most assuredly will if we live long enough. Babies born just before daddy's departure to Afghanistan, or soon after, and those yet to be born will never know what it feels like to be held by them. They will only have pictures and stories told by others to cling to; not even a memory.

My mind has been filled with thoughts to the point of overflowing this last week as we mourned the loss of Soldiers in our own battalion. One was a friend, and someone my husband greatly misses downrange. He brought smiles, encouragement & company to my best friend. They prayed together and opened God's Word together. They talked about his unborn child and his sweet wife. When he was finally able to call out, I cried as he shared with me he had lost a good friend. Even now, it's hard for me not to cry about that loss, for war is already difficult and even more so when you lose a friend.

I will never forget the moment when it hit me who it was and that my friend, Sarah, had just lost the love of her life. I couldn't speak without crying as I shared with her what her Chaplain, my husband, wanted her to know. He had just married them 9 months prior.

Her strength and faith in God has been a testimony to us all. She smiles while others cry. She tells us she's praying for our husbands just moments after having said good-bye to hers. She is a woman we all admire and love.

Though it has been a difficult month, I've grown closer to many of our ladies in the battalion, and experienced things that only come through such tragedy. I've made many new friends, who I would not have known otherwise, that have touched my life beyond words. I've watched our Soldiers give it their all to honor their fallen brothers (even those wounded coming to the memorial & funeral), and experienced a new level of patriotism and honor. And for all this, and other reasons I still can't find the words to express, my life has been forever changed.

I will never forget those who gave their lives, nor stop praying for those who continue to honor them by continuing the mission set before them.

Thank you!

To everyone who has stopped by to let me know you are praying for me and my family, and the Soldiers and their families - THANK YOU!

To everyone who has stopped by to ask questions or check in on me - THANK YOU! I am sorry I haven't answered questions or written much lately! Our brigade has had a tough few weeks, losing 9 Soldiers and having several others injured, and life has been busy ministering to the ladies God has put in my life. I promise to write more later. Just wanted you to know I haven't forgotten about you all and appreciate all you do to show your love and support!!

Trials and Peace

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, wanting to hear from my husband...more so, wanting him to be home with me. It's been a long month. It goes by quickly for him, he says, since he's so busy, but for me it sometimes feels like forever before I'll see him again.

After starting some laundry, I sat down to try to plan out a little of his R&R. We're planning to meet up somewhere other than home, since the winter months can get very long and dreary here. After a few phone calls, I felt I needed to stop. It's just too much to bear today. My heart is heavy missing him, and the frustration I was feeling from trying to plan out something so far in advance was getting the best of me.

The first load of laundry was ready to go in the dryer so I ran upstairs to put it in and start another load. There, throwing clothes from washer to dryer, the tears started coming quickly. It hurts more than I can bear sometimes. I want him here, not there today. It's hard when you want something you can't have...there's no bargaining for this particular request!

While straightening up a few things around the house, tears still falling, I felt compelled to get my "Moments of Peace for the Morning" book and read the thought for the day. It's funny how that works out sometimes. After reading it, I immediately realized I'd be much better off if I had started my day with God.

It started out like this - "As you awoke this morning, you may have felt like grain - threshed and milled by trials." ...My life is filled with moments where I wonder if God slipped in a note just for me to read at the very moment I needed it. One particular part said, "The moment will come and the threshing will end, and we will be prepared with the patience, faith and humility that only milling can create in your life." God's reassurance that He is here with me now, and that a moment will come when all this will end, brings me hope!

I love the little prayer at the end that brought me to the place where I needed to be to face the day - "Thank you, God, that trials don't last forever but that qualities you build in me do."