I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been praying for us during this time of preparation. I won't lie - it's not easy. Work is very tiring right now, as we're finishing up a project, and I want to spend as much time as I can with my husband, so I wish for the weekends, and then when I think about the fact that the weekend means it's one week closer to his deployment I feel bad for wishing the weekdays away.
I appreciate the prayers very much. God is good. We're strong in Him and continue to trust Him and His plans. My husband and I just continue to grow closer to the Lord and each other. I wouldn't trade some of the wonderful talks we've had over the last few months. God is faithful and I know He will meet every need in the weeks and months and years to come.
Thanks again! You all are a blessing!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hello Again!
I know...it's been a long time! Even for someone who loves to write, there are certain times it's just hard to put into writing what my heart feels.
A little over a week ago, I was given a calendar during our FRG meeting that I didn't really think a whole lot about at the time, but the next day at work I was writing down all the days off my husband will have before he deploys and it hit me like a ton of bricks - I was holding three months in my hand (April, May and June)...the last of the time left before he would leave for ONE YEAR!
ONE WHOLE YEAR (minus two weeks of R & R!) without the love of my life, my best friend, my favorite person in the whole world...
Since that day, every night when I roll over and feel his body next to mine in the middle of the night, I feel the sadness come over me. Some nights I cry. Some nights I try to hold him close without waking him. Some nights I imagine that day when he'll have to walk away from us and wonder how much agony he will go through. Some nights I imagine what the day of his return will be like. Some nights I think about the unthinkable and ask God to bring him home safely to us. Some nights I simply ask the Lord to help me to be strong and help me fall back asleep.
A few times I've cried at random, weird moments. Like the moment we got in the car after walking through the camping section at a store yesterday. We just ran in to get a baseball cap for the twins and wandered that direction and BAM! it hits me...this summer won't be the same. Everyone else in the car was talking about baseball, since the boys had just found out they made the team, and I'm crying like a baby and trying to hide it. My husband mentions to me a lot how he wonders how much the twins will change in the year he is gone, especially now that they have braces. I know it makes him sad.
See why I haven't blogged lately...haha! When I type it all out I feel like I sound so down or something. I'm not though! I know the One who brings strength and encouragement and peace that passes all understanding. I certainly can't explain it any other way! I still smile. I still feel joy and peace even knowing it won't be easy. I still trust God with His plans for our lives, knowing this is His plan for my husband to minister to the soldiers that He places under his care. In fact, just this Friday, as I watched soldiers march on both sides of my car as I drove to work and they went about their weekly road march, I was filled with joy that he will be there for our country's brave men when they face difficult moments. I wouldn't want it any other way because I know it's the Lord's will.
A little over a week ago, I was given a calendar during our FRG meeting that I didn't really think a whole lot about at the time, but the next day at work I was writing down all the days off my husband will have before he deploys and it hit me like a ton of bricks - I was holding three months in my hand (April, May and June)...the last of the time left before he would leave for ONE YEAR!
ONE WHOLE YEAR (minus two weeks of R & R!) without the love of my life, my best friend, my favorite person in the whole world...
Since that day, every night when I roll over and feel his body next to mine in the middle of the night, I feel the sadness come over me. Some nights I cry. Some nights I try to hold him close without waking him. Some nights I imagine that day when he'll have to walk away from us and wonder how much agony he will go through. Some nights I imagine what the day of his return will be like. Some nights I think about the unthinkable and ask God to bring him home safely to us. Some nights I simply ask the Lord to help me to be strong and help me fall back asleep.
A few times I've cried at random, weird moments. Like the moment we got in the car after walking through the camping section at a store yesterday. We just ran in to get a baseball cap for the twins and wandered that direction and BAM! it hits me...this summer won't be the same. Everyone else in the car was talking about baseball, since the boys had just found out they made the team, and I'm crying like a baby and trying to hide it. My husband mentions to me a lot how he wonders how much the twins will change in the year he is gone, especially now that they have braces. I know it makes him sad.
See why I haven't blogged lately...haha! When I type it all out I feel like I sound so down or something. I'm not though! I know the One who brings strength and encouragement and peace that passes all understanding. I certainly can't explain it any other way! I still smile. I still feel joy and peace even knowing it won't be easy. I still trust God with His plans for our lives, knowing this is His plan for my husband to minister to the soldiers that He places under his care. In fact, just this Friday, as I watched soldiers march on both sides of my car as I drove to work and they went about their weekly road march, I was filled with joy that he will be there for our country's brave men when they face difficult moments. I wouldn't want it any other way because I know it's the Lord's will.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
A Short Sermon Clip
God is at Work!
God uses these videos to work on my heart. When I tell the Lord I'm not sure I'm ready to be without my husband for a year, all it takes is seeing something like this to bring me back around to surrendering my will to His (God's). Have you ever asked the question - what would our military be like without chaplains? I pray we never know!
The Old Rugged Cross - Sung by our Soldiers
I'm always thrilled to sit down with my husband and see pictures after he returns from the field, but this time he came home with video clips of one of his services!!
Recently, I've had several new women contact me through my blog whose husbands are considering the chaplaincy. I pray this video will give you a glimpse of the ministry he could have to the Soldiers of this country.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Leaning and Learning
The last four weeks have been a growing process for me. I believe the Lord used this time to teach me how to lean on Him more, and, quite frankly, to show me more of who he IS. Early on in this particular "journey" I discovered something about myself - when times get tough I tend to lean more and learn less. I never really thought about it this way before but I tend to lean more on what I already know about God, from past experiences, rather than discovering new and amazing attributes of him. I tend to cling to the truths that I already know to be true, and, although that's not a bad thing to do, what I've discovered is there is so much more about God, but I have to be willing to get in His Word and dig deeper. I have to spend time alone with him and seek his face.
I wrote about the experience I had with being drawn to a particular book in my post A Renewed Heart but it has become so much more than I could ever express since that time...but somehow I'll try.
I haven't missed a day in Joshua since I committed to the Lord that I would get up early and get in His Word. What has been amazing to me, though, is that over and over again I am hearing and reading verses in Joshua every day through different means-none planned out by me-and I'm not just talking about from the bible. When I open up the two books I'm reading it is there. When I listen to a particular audio study CD that I'm listening to every time I get in the car it never fails something comes up in it, and then on Sunday one of our chaplains is preaching and a man in the congregation yells out Joshua 1:8 in the middle of his sermon. It was the strangest thing...
I've found that, more than ever before in my life, God is showing me how much He truly is with me. He wants me to lean and to learn, not just lean and not just learn. They go together! I've also realized all I would have missed had I not been in His Word every morning. So many things have been tied to my morning bible reading.
Today, as I was driving to work, Beth Moore said something on the CD that put it all together for me. She was talking about a friend of her daughter that was jumping hurdles and struggled with each and every one of them, but she never gave up. Even when she fell and scrapped up her knees and elbows, she continued on. Beth talked about how all the other girls had already finished, but she would not give up, and before long all eyes were on this one child and everyone was cheering her on.
I don't remember what Beth said next because it was in that moment that I saw myself there on that track. I saw some of the hurdles that lay before me with the long deployment lurking at our door. I saw myself backing up and moving forward. I know what lies before me and my family will not be easy; it will take guts-and probably a little blood, sweat and tears-to get through this, BUT God is going to be right there cheering us on (better yet, picking us up in the moments we're just too tired to carry on) and in the end HE will be victorious!
This journey is not about me. It's not about my husband or our children. It's about God Almighty being glorified! And, when all is said and done, we'll know and love Him more. I am certain of that! The things I'm not certain of-which are many-He is in control of. All He is asking of us is to surrender to His will and walk this journey with Him, for His glory.
How do we keep from being terrified or discouraged in the tough times that lay before us?
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night... (Joshua 1:8)
I wrote about the experience I had with being drawn to a particular book in my post A Renewed Heart but it has become so much more than I could ever express since that time...but somehow I'll try.
I haven't missed a day in Joshua since I committed to the Lord that I would get up early and get in His Word. What has been amazing to me, though, is that over and over again I am hearing and reading verses in Joshua every day through different means-none planned out by me-and I'm not just talking about from the bible. When I open up the two books I'm reading it is there. When I listen to a particular audio study CD that I'm listening to every time I get in the car it never fails something comes up in it, and then on Sunday one of our chaplains is preaching and a man in the congregation yells out Joshua 1:8 in the middle of his sermon. It was the strangest thing...
I've found that, more than ever before in my life, God is showing me how much He truly is with me. He wants me to lean and to learn, not just lean and not just learn. They go together! I've also realized all I would have missed had I not been in His Word every morning. So many things have been tied to my morning bible reading.
Today, as I was driving to work, Beth Moore said something on the CD that put it all together for me. She was talking about a friend of her daughter that was jumping hurdles and struggled with each and every one of them, but she never gave up. Even when she fell and scrapped up her knees and elbows, she continued on. Beth talked about how all the other girls had already finished, but she would not give up, and before long all eyes were on this one child and everyone was cheering her on.
I don't remember what Beth said next because it was in that moment that I saw myself there on that track. I saw some of the hurdles that lay before me with the long deployment lurking at our door. I saw myself backing up and moving forward. I know what lies before me and my family will not be easy; it will take guts-and probably a little blood, sweat and tears-to get through this, BUT God is going to be right there cheering us on (better yet, picking us up in the moments we're just too tired to carry on) and in the end HE will be victorious!
This journey is not about me. It's not about my husband or our children. It's about God Almighty being glorified! And, when all is said and done, we'll know and love Him more. I am certain of that! The things I'm not certain of-which are many-He is in control of. All He is asking of us is to surrender to His will and walk this journey with Him, for His glory.
Have I not commanded you? Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
How do we keep from being terrified or discouraged in the tough times that lay before us?
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night... (Joshua 1:8)
God's Will Be Done!
I want you all to meet one of my husband's soldiers. About a month ago this soldier came to my husband and wanted to know Christ. His life has forever been changed. Our lives have forever been changed. You see, every time my husband shares with me what God is doing in the lives of the ones he is called to serve, I am humbled.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Times of Ministry While Training
When I received these pictures via email yesterday, and saw the smile on his face, I felt such peace about us being apart. I'm not saying it's easy and I like it or anything; I'm just saying I love that he is there for the soldiers and ministering to them. God put him in this ministry for a reason, and I'm learning more and more to lean on God and trust that what we are doing is for His kingdom and His glory. 
He's the one smiling! (haha) In the picture below they are taking supplies to some of the soldiers and going to visit them.
Yes, that means he got to ride in a Blackhawk Helicopter! 
I figured out those are his goggles on his head, covered to keep all the dust off of them I guess. It kind of looks like a [brown] smurf hat.
Here he's having a service for his soldiers right where they are. I love seeing pictures like this!!
He's the one smiling! (haha) In the picture below they are taking supplies to some of the soldiers and going to visit them.Yes, that means he got to ride in a Blackhawk Helicopter! I figured out those are his goggles on his head, covered to keep all the dust off of them I guess. It kind of looks like a [brown] smurf hat.Here he's having a service for his soldiers right where they are. I love seeing pictures like this!!
Here he's taking a little break or something with his assistant. For those who don't know, chaplains don't carry a gun...so, yes, I do a lot of praying for his assistant with the upcoming deployment! Actually, there's someone much bigger who has his back - God!!
That's my man! (Even though I didn't recognize him when he first sent the picture...It was his hand with the wedding band that I recognized first.) I sure love him and miss him!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A Renewed Heart
Over the last few days I've done a lot of reflecting, and what I discovered is this:
- I allowed other things to creep in and distract me from the most important relationship ever, my relationship with Christ!
- I allowed the weight of "my world" to fall on my shoulders and was not giving it to God.
- I was allowing things that I have no control over (like the upcoming deployment of my husband) to control me and get the best of me.
- I was not growing.
- I was not focused on anything significant or eternal...and so on.
But...PRAISE GOD...He did not leave me. He used a book on a shelf, while I was walking through a store praying to Him to help me get out of the rut I was in, to catch my attention - "A Woman After God's Own Heart"...that is my desire, I told Him! I want to be that woman - one who seeks to know Him and grow in my relationship with Him each day, one who doesn't allow the day to day demands or struggles get to me in such a way that I lose focus of what God would have me learn or experience for His glory.
Two weeks ago, early on a Sunday morning, I believe God woke me up and laid it on my heart to go get my bible and read Joshua 1. I did, and He spoke to my heart. Three times in the first nine verses of Chapter 1, God told Joshua to be strong and courageous. He told him to meditate on His Word day and night. He told him not to be discouraged and that He would be with him wherever he went. I believe God was telling me the same things that morning.
You would have thought that the next day I would have gone back to His Word and started in Chapter 2 of Joshua, but I didn't. Here's the catch. After about an hour of prayer and drawing near to God last night, I felt like God was leading me to pick up another book I had purchased by the same author and go directly to the chapter on Fear. I hated jumping into the middle of the book, especially when I was hardly through the first one I started reading this week. Do you know it took me right into Chapter 2 of Joshua?! In that very moment I knew that for two weeks I had missed out on what God wanted to show me the very next day in Chapter 2, and so on.
My heart has ached, and all the while God was trying to speak to me...trying to comfort me...trying to teach me something new about who HE is in my life. I would pray off and on throughout the day, but mainly for my husband and his soldiers and other people in my life who asked for prayer, but I was neglecting to draw near to God.
Today my heart is whole again. In fact, that took place last night as I surrendered everything to the One who knows me from the inside out, the One who knows what the future holds and what is best for me and my family, and the One who is in control of all things and is victorious! My heart is renewed!
Psalm 51:10 says, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." That was my prayer, and he was faithful! Psalm 51:12 says, "Restore to me the joy of my salvation..." That, too, He has been faithful to do! I praise Him for a renewed heart and a renewed focus.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The word is out.
I write and erase, write and erase...
Today we got word of where our husbands will deploy to. All I can say is I'm thankful they didn't announce to us when via email. I hope we get to hear that with our spouse beside us! If I could have it my way...I want to hear that from my husband as he holds me in his arms and tells me everything's going to be OK. Hearing anything when you can't talk to your spouse for another couple of weeks just stinks! That's all I'm going to say about that!
Today we got word of where our husbands will deploy to. All I can say is I'm thankful they didn't announce to us when via email. I hope we get to hear that with our spouse beside us! If I could have it my way...I want to hear that from my husband as he holds me in his arms and tells me everything's going to be OK. Hearing anything when you can't talk to your spouse for another couple of weeks just stinks! That's all I'm going to say about that!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Lots of bubbles!
This evening makes night #2 without my husband. I miss him very much! This morning I woke up feeling like something was missing...kind of like when you go on a trip and as soon as you leave the house you start wondering if you forgot something important...like your passport or your purse, not just a pair of socks or something insignificant. Except it's more than that. I don't want to say it's an emptness I feel; it doesn't go that deep because God filled that void many years ago, but it's just a big part of my heart that's missing and I can't get it back until he returns.
Anyways...the twins and I went to get some groceries and just sort of hang out for a little while. When we returned home, we had dinner and then the twins were unloading/reloading the dishwasher and I ran upstairs to check emails and blog a little before turning in for the night...then it happened. Darby calls from downstairs, "Mom! The dishwasher is spewing!" I thought I'd find that it "threw up" in the sink due to the garbage disposal, but when I arrived in the kitchen there was water and bubbles everywhere! It took us about an hour to clean it all up, but we did it.
The moral of the story...don't buy different types of soap without telling your kids! I guess I confused him a little. Either that or he wanted to see what would happen when you use dish soap instead of dishwasher detergent! :) I'm kidding. The kitchen floor is squeaky clean and we're all doing fine. God is good and keeps us moving along. Maybe it all happened so we'd focus on something totally different than not having dad around... oh wait a minute... I was thinking, "Where's dad when things like this happen?!" at one point. Then we set out to do all that we needed to do to make sure nothing got ruined, and later we'll have a good laugh when we get to tell dad what happened while he was away.
Anyways...the twins and I went to get some groceries and just sort of hang out for a little while. When we returned home, we had dinner and then the twins were unloading/reloading the dishwasher and I ran upstairs to check emails and blog a little before turning in for the night...then it happened. Darby calls from downstairs, "Mom! The dishwasher is spewing!" I thought I'd find that it "threw up" in the sink due to the garbage disposal, but when I arrived in the kitchen there was water and bubbles everywhere! It took us about an hour to clean it all up, but we did it.
The moral of the story...don't buy different types of soap without telling your kids! I guess I confused him a little. Either that or he wanted to see what would happen when you use dish soap instead of dishwasher detergent! :) I'm kidding. The kitchen floor is squeaky clean and we're all doing fine. God is good and keeps us moving along. Maybe it all happened so we'd focus on something totally different than not having dad around... oh wait a minute... I was thinking, "Where's dad when things like this happen?!" at one point. Then we set out to do all that we needed to do to make sure nothing got ruined, and later we'll have a good laugh when we get to tell dad what happened while he was away.
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