Saturday, August 22, 2009

Trials and Peace

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, wanting to hear from my husband...more so, wanting him to be home with me. It's been a long month. It goes by quickly for him, he says, since he's so busy, but for me it sometimes feels like forever before I'll see him again.

After starting some laundry, I sat down to try to plan out a little of his R&R. We're planning to meet up somewhere other than home, since the winter months can get very long and dreary here. After a few phone calls, I felt I needed to stop. It's just too much to bear today. My heart is heavy missing him, and the frustration I was feeling from trying to plan out something so far in advance was getting the best of me.

The first load of laundry was ready to go in the dryer so I ran upstairs to put it in and start another load. There, throwing clothes from washer to dryer, the tears started coming quickly. It hurts more than I can bear sometimes. I want him here, not there today. It's hard when you want something you can't have...there's no bargaining for this particular request!

While straightening up a few things around the house, tears still falling, I felt compelled to get my "Moments of Peace for the Morning" book and read the thought for the day. It's funny how that works out sometimes. After reading it, I immediately realized I'd be much better off if I had started my day with God.

It started out like this - "As you awoke this morning, you may have felt like grain - threshed and milled by trials." ...My life is filled with moments where I wonder if God slipped in a note just for me to read at the very moment I needed it. One particular part said, "The moment will come and the threshing will end, and we will be prepared with the patience, faith and humility that only milling can create in your life." God's reassurance that He is here with me now, and that a moment will come when all this will end, brings me hope!

I love the little prayer at the end that brought me to the place where I needed to be to face the day - "Thank you, God, that trials don't last forever but that qualities you build in me do."