Last night was one of the toughest nights I can ever remember having as an adult. I was home alone when it just seemed to really hit me that THINGS ARE SO DIFFERENT! I cried so hard it hurt, and I couldn't seem to control it. I miss our family being all together so badly and more than anything I just wanted to be held in my husband's arms last night and have my children around me. I know everything will be ok and one day seem normal for us, but there are moments when I just have to cry out to God and ask him for strength to endure this seperation and those that I'm sure are to come. I know it will get easier because I've been there before, and I pray that comes quickly, but not at the cost that I don't feel anything. I don't want to be numb to my emotions...even if it means I cry sometimes or even laugh when it's seems a little harder to do at this point. I want to learn what God wants me to learn, and to lean on Him when I am down. I feel for all the men and wome whose loved ones are in a war zone, and I pray with all my heart it ends soon. I pray for my husband who is away from us. I know it is tough for him as well.

Here he is in his battle gear...