I thought I would be OK this time. It's only a week I told myself. He later told me the same thing as the tears rolled down my face when he kissed me good-bye. I can't really explain it. We've been apart many times, but lately every time we have to say good-bye, even if for only a few days, I get emotional.
Today my husband is off again for more training. This time it is Battleminds: Traumatic Event Management. I would venture to say it will be very important training for him as a Chaplain. Since I don't really know a whole lot about it, though I certainly have some idea, I can't really write about it at this point.
It's makes me think about him being deployed. Every single time he leaves, I think about it. During my quiet time on Friday, I found myself asking the Lord with such passion to prepare my heart if he is to deploy any time in the near future. With the military, you just never know when it could happen so I want to be prepared.
In some ways I've already begun to prepare. These preparations aren't about me though. It's about giving/showing him love and attention and support and encouragement every single day of our lives. It's about holding tight to the one I love and trying to remember how important each moment with him is because we're not guaranteed we'll be together tomorrow. I guess the more I think about it, it's not really about him being in the military that should cause me to pay closer attention to expressing my love more freely. Just him being in the military, where the possibility of us being apart is greater, has brought it to the forefront of my mind.
We talk about him deploying sometimes; not so that we can focus on being apart, but so that we can focus on what God wants for our lives. We know that if he does deploy it is the Lord's will. We know that, no matter what we do or where we go, the Creator of the universe is watching over us and He is in control. Knowing that makes all the difference in the world to me. It doesn't mean I won't miss him or that I won't fear for his life sometimes. It just means that I have the Lord in my life to comfort me and bring me strength.
I'm excited that he was able to go to this training. I want him to be prepared in every way possible to meet the needs of his Soldiers and to know what it is he needs to do in all types of situations. As for me, I will try not to focus on missing him so much this week and be productive right here where the Lord has me. I know God has other things He wants me to focus on, so that's what I'm going to do!!