This morning as I was spending time with God I felt as though he was trying to tell me something. I couldn't quite figure out what it was, but I knew he wanted me to listen and allow him to speak. Sometimes it's difficult to sit still, sometimes I feel the nudge to walk. This morning I knew he was telling me to walk with him awhile.
Noticing my mom was awake, I asked her if she wanted to walk with me - all the while sensing God wanted me to walk alone. She couldn't go; she was headed to VBS at her church. God knew. As we (me and God) walked, I heard him say, "Give me your heart." I've given you my heart, Lord. Clearly, I heard it again,"Give me your heart." What are you saying to me, Lord? What do you mean? "I want you to give me your whole heart. Those things you are holding on to. Those things that are troubling you. Those feelings you can't seem to let go of." Oh! I understand...you want to go there today...
As I continued to walk down the road, I sensed him telling me to sit down. Here in the road, Lord? I asked. "Yes, right here in the road." It seemed odd, but I've known the Lord long enough to know it wasn't some crazy thought of mine. He wanted me to sit still long enough to deal with what he was telling me. After I allowed him to speak to me, and after I felt the release that comes from knowing the presence of God and the healing he brings when we allow it, I sat and worshipped him.
God has a way of wooing us back to where he wants us to be, if we'll let him. For me, I needed to deal with what has been taking place in my heart for several days now. The subject is not important. What's important is that God loved me enough to show me he is present through it all. He knows my heart. He knows how to bring me back to the place I need to be in my heart, in my soul and in my mind.
After several hours of talking with the Lord, I sat down to read from the book I know God had me pick up last week: Walking with God by John Eldredge. God knew even before I the things I would experience this week and he knew this book would be a tool in which he could use. The moment I read this in the book confirmed that all that I have been experiencing with the Lord this morning is real: Oh how deeply he knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. And how true and good to pray just this. My heart does need his healing. He's also been saying, Give me your heart.