Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sometimes I can’t really identify the feelings that are here in my heart. I only know they reside there often. It’s not really loneliness because I know the Lord is with me always, but it’s just a sense that something is missing. I know what that something is. It’s my very best friend, the one I gave my heart to over 20 years ago, the one God gave me to love forever, the one who I love to talk to and spend time with, the one I love to share everything with, the one who makes my heart leap when I see him, the one who knows everything about me and loves me just the way I am.

He’s far away right now, preparing for what lies ahead. Seeking to grasp everything he can before he takes the next step into actually performing his duties as a chaplain. Holding tightly to what he is learning so that he can be all that God has called him to be. Trying not to miss us so much that he can’t concentrate on what he needs to right now. I know it has to be much more difficult on him because he doesn't have any family there with him. I am grateful to have our children with me, who daily remind me of him, but I hate that he has to be there without all of us.

I find myself wondering what he is learning and what he is experiencing. I at least now know what his surroundings look like and the people he spends time with day in and day out. I know the hearts of his friends, and praise God that He allowed their paths to cross. I wonder what their wives are doing and how they are holding up. I wish we were still all together.

In the midst of all that is taking place, I find peace. God has sustained us and given us hope and strength to carry on. I don’t know what our life will be like from here on out, but I trust the Lord to take care of us. There’s a scripture that I prayed to the Lord this morning. Psalm 86:2-4. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are God; save your servant who trusts in you. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.
Psalm 25: 4-5

1 comment:

Amy said...

Praying for you while you miss your man.