Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Leaning and Learning

The last four weeks have been a growing process for me. I believe the Lord used this time to teach me how to lean on Him more, and, quite frankly, to show me more of who he IS. Early on in this particular "journey" I discovered something about myself - when times get tough I tend to lean more and learn less. I never really thought about it this way before but I tend to lean more on what I already know about God, from past experiences, rather than discovering new and amazing attributes of him. I tend to cling to the truths that I already know to be true, and, although that's not a bad thing to do, what I've discovered is there is so much more about God, but I have to be willing to get in His Word and dig deeper. I have to spend time alone with him and seek his face.

I wrote about the experience I had with being drawn to a particular book in my post A Renewed Heart but it has become so much more than I could ever express since that time...but somehow I'll try.

I haven't missed a day in Joshua since I committed to the Lord that I would get up early and get in His Word. What has been amazing to me, though, is that over and over again I am hearing and reading verses in Joshua every day through different means-none planned out by me-and I'm not just talking about from the bible. When I open up the two books I'm reading it is there. When I listen to a particular audio study CD that I'm listening to every time I get in the car it never fails something comes up in it, and then on Sunday one of our chaplains is preaching and a man in the congregation yells out Joshua 1:8 in the middle of his sermon. It was the strangest thing...

I've found that, more than ever before in my life, God is showing me how much He truly is with me. He wants me to lean and to learn, not just lean and not just learn. They go together! I've also realized all I would have missed had I not been in His Word every morning. So many things have been tied to my morning bible reading.

Today, as I was driving to work, Beth Moore said something on the CD that put it all together for me. She was talking about a friend of her daughter that was jumping hurdles and struggled with each and every one of them, but she never gave up. Even when she fell and scrapped up her knees and elbows, she continued on. Beth talked about how all the other girls had already finished, but she would not give up, and before long all eyes were on this one child and everyone was cheering her on.

I don't remember what Beth said next because it was in that moment that I saw myself there on that track. I saw some of the hurdles that lay before me with the long deployment lurking at our door. I saw myself backing up and moving forward. I know what lies before me and my family will not be easy; it will take guts-and probably a little blood, sweat and tears-to get through this, BUT God is going to be right there cheering us on (better yet, picking us up in the moments we're just too tired to carry on) and in the end HE will be victorious!

This journey is not about me. It's not about my husband or our children. It's about God Almighty being glorified! And, when all is said and done, we'll know and love Him more. I am certain of that! The things I'm not certain of-which are many-He is in control of. All He is asking of us is to surrender to His will and walk this journey with Him, for His glory.

Have I not commanded you? Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

How do we keep from being terrified or discouraged in the tough times that lay before us?

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night... (Joshua 1:8)


LAURIE said...

Great thoughts here today Laura. Funny thing you mention Beth's story about the hurdles, I also spoke of hurdles in my post tonight. I love Beth Moore, on thursday we are starting her ESTHER study. So far I have 58 women signed up for it. Awesome huh? -love Laurie

Sara Horn said...

Laura, thanks so much for writing this. I needed to read this today.


Sheryll said...

Yahoo!! Preach it!! :)

Paulette said...

Your exactly right it isn't about us and when we take US out of the equation God can do some powerful work! I have surely discovered that in my own life.
In saying that God gave us the companionship of a mate, he never intended for us to go through life alone and when I look at you and Kevin,and your bond it makes perfect sense how difficult it is for you to be separated. I am thankful he will be home soon and I also know that with some planning and goals you will make it through a deployment also! You are a tough cookie and I have faith in you! I know God has some great things in store for you through it.
At Grace St. we have 30 woman doing Beth Moore's "Stepping up" we are starting Esther next!!

Meredith said...

Sorry I have been out of touch lately. It's been crazy here but I wanted you to know you are still on my heart and in my prayers. I now know how difficult the time leading up to the deployment can be. You try to fit in anything and everything you can think of in the little time you do have with your soldier. But that time is so bittersweet because you know the reason you are creating the memories is so you have something to hang onto in the long months ahead. It's nothing new to you exactly but I am just learning it and I have to say I love what God is teaching me through it all. His grace is sufficient.
Love and prayers, Meredith

steph said...

Hi Laura!

Just found your blog today! My husband is currently deployed and we too live off post b/c he is in the reserves. I have no military friends, except for those I have met online! Thanks for sharing your experience! I really enjoy your blog:)