Thursday, November 1, 2007

A tough day...

Hugs good-bye, tears falling, the thought that life truly has changed and the way we knew it to be with our oldest son will never be the same again is hitting hard...

We've said good-bye so much in the last few months, more so than some people ever do in a lifetime, and it's tough! I can't explain it other than to say it feels as though a piece of your heart is torn from you. I have this overwhelming feeling to just curl up in my bed and cry but I think that my twins need me to be strong...I know that it hurts my husband to hear me crying on the phone and not be able bring comfort. He feels the pain and sadness, too.

"Grieve"..."be strong!"...Those thoughts have been fighting all day long. Somewhere in the middle of it all, the Lord brings comfort and peace. I can't explain it. Even through the pain and tears I see Him there with His arms open wide. His plan, His purpose - they are perfect for all of us. He created this child...I trust Him! I praise the Lord for the time we've had to raise him and know that God has great things in store for His child.

Lord, I thank you for allowing us to raise this beautiful child. I'm letting go...and letting go means that I recognize that You gave him to us to raise, but now he must move forward with the plans You have for him. Keep him safe as he serves our country. I'm so honored to be his mom. Thank you for your love and peace that surpasses all my understanding.

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