Monday, May 5, 2008

A dream (or more so, a nightmare) I'd rather not have

This morning, after falling back off to sleep again when my husband left for PT around 5:30, I dreamed that my husband called me and told me to come up to his office. When I arrived, I saw other wives crying. I immediately sensed what was going on and began to ask my husband why he had not forewarned me. Minutes later I woke up, praise God, but I'm still thinking about it.

That was just a nightmare for me, but my dearest friend here is preparing for it. Her husband leaves next Monday and I know it's really tough. She's thankful he will be here for Mother's Day, but I know she only wishes it could be longer. My heart always feels burdened for her, as I know she is as close to her husband as I am mine, and the thought of being separated for any length of time is almost more than we can bare. Too, we have other dear friends whose husbands are already there on the battlefield, and more preparing to go, and my heart aches for them as well.

It's been extremely busy for us lately and my husband was only home eight days last month, but I'm grateful for every minute. We had lunch together in my car for just a few minutes today because his schedule is so crazy, and we talked about there not being any end in sight. I try not to feel at all sorry for myself as I realize many, many other spouses are sacrificing so much more. Though the time apart is difficult, and I don't wish for it, I'm grateful that more and more God is opening my eyes to those who are hurting and lonely around me. I see women who look worn out, who are at their limit, yet they press on. I wish there was more I could do. I wish our husbands and wives, sons and daughters, and friends would all be able to come home soon.

Looking at the faces, watching them walk along looking downcast, makes my heart break. I think of all the people in this world that probably don't even give what our Soldiers and their families are going through a second thought and it's painful. I think about the people protesting, instead of loving on and supporting our troops, and it makes me angry. I think about those who have lost loved ones and I'm saddened. And, I think about our God, the one who told us there would be wars and rumors of wars and know that it's a part of life and, by His strength, we can be victorious even in the midst of painful experiences.

Thank you, Lord, for the hope we have in You! Watch over and protect our Soldiers and their families. Give us strength to carry on and peace for the moments we need it the most. Be with all those who are on the front lines, and bring them home safely very soon. Be with our Chaplains who are there with our men and women. Give them the words to say that bring comfort and strength. Be with our friends who are experiencing deployment right now and those that just left or are about to leave. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


Theresa said...

When you say "sad and at their limit" are you talking about me? Just kidding. I can now say officially, one month till our trial of separtation ends for a season. I feel like I am counting the minutes. I can't wait!

Lauren said...

Thank you for this post. Aron and I had a rough week struggling with the idea of being away from each other for a long period of time, God continued to point us in the direction of Army Chaplaincy. So thankful for His direction and it is comforting to know this is His will, but I can only imagine how difficult separation will be. As always, thank you for your honest words on this blog! Blessings and we are praying for you and your family! :)

LAURIE said...

Thank you once again for your spirit and love for those that are impacted by this war. It takes more than a Chaplain to reach those serving, but a wonderful, loving Chaplain's wife to reach the ones left behind. all the days you spend alone is an experience that you can relate to with those Mothers, those wives and children who are separated for a long period of time. God is really using you and I thank God for you. keep up the good work...Love Laurie

Amy Maxwell said...

Thanks for the post. And for the comment on my blog. Love you friend, you've always been there for me when I needed you. Thanks.