The alarm sounds at 5:15 a.m. He whispers, "I wish I didn't have to go to work and could stay here with you." I wish the same. He's off to work and I'm wishing for just a few more minutes of sleep. It doesn't happen. It rarely does. I love the morning hours most. Why would I sleep through my favorite time of the day!
After spending time with the Lord, answering a few emails and commenting on a few blogs, I'm off for my morning walk/run. This morning it's a walk. God wants to speak. "Listen." I hear a neighbor yell good morning as she drives by. "See there is life around you." (I had written this yesterday: As I walked, I felt like the world around me was asleep and I had this vision of shouting to tell everyone to get out of their beds and get out and talk to one another. I wish for more here. I wish people would open up and be friendly. I wish I didn't feel like I was on an island sometimes!) I hear the birds chirping. It's always beautiful and simple. I watch them fly off as I walk closer. I've interrupted their morning, but they've blessed mine.
"Look." I see the lake. Calmness. The water is completely calm. I'm reminded of the way I described God when my husband was in training - "The Calm". He still is. I see the sun shining brightly. I pray it stays and look forward to my friend, Sheryll, and her grand baby coming over today. She's always like a ray of sunshine in my life, as we share similar life experiences, and we are always encouraged when we spend time together. I see blackberry bushes everywhere. My twins have been faithfully filling up a medium-size bowl every day with their friends. I'm reminded I need to get pictures of them holding tight to one another as one tries to reach the largest blackberries that dangle far from the road, surrounded by tiny little thorns everywhere. They know if the other boy lets go they are in for a thorny, painful, downhill fall...yet they trust them. It's evident by the fact that they do it. Hmm...there's something there for me to learn. I sense it. "Trust me even when it looks like you might fall. Remember the scripture you read this morning as we met? - Psalm 55:22. Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
"Continue." I've refocused. I've committed to keep up the running/walking in the morning outside - even when it's cold or drizzly. I am so at peace as I run in the midst of His beautiful creation. I've cleaned the closet - where we tend to shove everything so no one sees it; sometimes in such a hurry that we forget what we put in there - of my heart; allowing the Lord to show me what's holding me back from living that full and meaningful life He promised. Yesterday, I confessed unforgiveness I was holding on to. It was pride that was keeping me from letting it all go and telling that person I forgave them.
This life as a military wife has its ups and downs. All of life does! We MUST place our faith in the One who is constant. Never-changing. God is constant, never-changing, the Calm in the storm. He is our Strength, our Refuge. When we feel like sobbing because nothing is going the way we expected, it's okay to sob. When we feel lonely and scared, it's okay to admit it and ask other people to pray for us, and turn to God for comfort. He is there. He will never leave us, nor forsake us, if we've placed our faith in Him. That's His promise; and he's the only one who can keep all his promises. People let us down 'cause they are human. God NEVER will. When we need a good laugh, because we haven't had one in so long it hurts to think about it, search your mind for something that makes you laugh and think on it 'til the laughter comes. I sometimes put in a movie that makes me laugh (like Dan in Real Life...that movie cracks me up!). Or, when you're tired, cranky, feeling like nothing is as it should be and you haven't cleaned the house or gotten dressed for the day, just let yourself off the hook for not having it all together. We all have those days (or weeks); I think we all wish we could let our hair down a little more often.
Whatever season you are in - whether on top of the world or feeling a bit confused and burdened - there is someone out there who sees it all and cares about even the smallest issues in your life. Embrace the moment. Learn from it - both the good and the bad. Be there for others who are struggling. Take it one day at a time, and if you're up - be there for those who are down; and if you're down - reach out for help. I pray I can reach out, whether up or down, and make a difference in someone's life today, and every day.